


Don't Waste Time, Play Your Role

by mythicdork



Series: Jack and Gabe's Trials [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Secret Marriage, Worn out, sad boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 16:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14382984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicdork/pseuds/mythicdork
Summary: Jack Morrison is a man who plays the part given to him. Yet, no man is a symbol truly. Just a look in Jack Morrison's mind running away.





	Don't Waste Time, Play Your Role

Heroes were no longer people in the eyes of the masses, they were extraordinary beings with unwavering selfless loyalty.

That was the way John Morrison had to be, the world’s true hero. He had to be unwavering, with a perfect smile and shining eyes that demanded a fight to the end. Commonly that was the part Jack played. He spoke with a passion, gripped his hands in fists when needed and gestured outwardly that was more befitting of a life coach than a commander.

But that wasn’t who Jack was. It was a person that Jack could be and was someone Jack dreamed to be long ago, in a world where he had no one to begin with.

Jack joined SEP, joined the _war_ , to prove a point, a point driven by disapproving looks as well as his own sheer need to _help_. He had no one though. His family wasn’t a big part of his world, at least not in a way that made him want to stop fighting. He wasn’t looking for a partner, he planned to be a part of this world of fighting until the brutal end (the end being of himself or the war was never clear in his mind).

Life never goes as planned.

It was a rather cliché story, boy meets boy in a program set to kill or evolve in a desperate urge to defeat the oncoming battles for the world’s very survival. Cliché really.

Gabriel Reyes _was_ that idea of a hero. He had a reason to go home, a chance at a different life. But he chose to save the world, and he chose to fight in anyway needed to save the most people he could.

He was inspiring, and it wasn’t hard to see why Jack’s heart so easily crumbled to dust in his presence. The hell they went through together only solidified what had been there all along. Jack could so easily remember the night it came to a head. The beginning of Jack’s end.

_“C’mon Jackie, can’t die on me now, **last one** and you’re going to tap out.” Gabe’s voice is rough in his ears, it was supposed to be light and Jack knew it. But the way Gabe was clinging to his hand to try and get Jack to keep his eyes open, the tenseness in his throat (all because Jack’s body decided to react badly to what was supposed to be finishing touches) made it all too tight._

_“Not tapping out, Gabe. Just picturing something,” his voice is even rougher than Gabe’s, his throat screaming in protest. Water wasn’t something his body was keeping hold of much anymore, everything his body did seemed to push to keep all liquids out._

_“And what’s that, Morrison?” the chair squeaks under Gabe as he shifts toward Jack._

_“Our wedding, after all the shit I went through with you, I deserve a big ass ring.” Jack pushes through a laugh, eyes partially opening to look at Gabe. They had been “dating” for a while now, and the term dating felt wrong to use._

_Gabe laughed like he was punched in the gut, the clasped hand being brought up to his forehead as he curved forward. “I’ll buy you twenty rings if you get through this one.”_

_“I just need the one, Gabe. Hell, we could skip it. All I **need** is you.”_

The beginning of the end of John Morrison, the fearless hero ready to fight to the last cell of his being. He made it through it, and the first leave, they got married in a court house. No one there. No big celebration. They didn’t even tell everyone they knew. Jack got to wear his ring for a day.

Gabe was ready to save the planet. Being married to one another could ruin some things, and _it wasn’t anyone else’s business_. So, Jack wore his ring with his dog tags, and hid them both while he fought side by side with his husband. They won their war, at least helped it stop.

It was the last stand, the last clean up. Jack was prepared to retire then. They saved the _world_. Jack wanted to spend the rest of his life with his husband in the middle of nowhere, just breathing him in. He never even got to bring it up to Gabe in so many words, when they were offered the continuation of the fight.

They were heroes, genetically corrected to be such, prepares Jack was foolish. Jack could almost say that he was done fighting for the same reasons he began when he stepped into the role.

Gabe didn’t think twice about continuing the fight. Jack did. Jack thought more than twice. He thought a hundred times. In the end, the world was important, but Gabe was more important. Jack wasn’t made to be a homebody, waiting for his husband to return or to receive a letter. Though a _letter_ wouldn’t likely find his doorstep as no one knew of their marriage.

Jack needed to watch Gabe’s back.

Gabe took Blackwatch to do what must be done for the world, and Jack took Overwatch to do what must be shown for the world and what must be done for Gabe.

It wasn’t easy. They no longer went on missions together all the time. Jack had meetings after meetings. Blackwatch grew and took on more and Gabe vanished more frequently for longer times. Jack gave speeches, made choices, and watched out for the all-seeing eyes above him that tried to stare at the shadows that was Blackwatch.

Jack wouldn’t let them too close, he brushed questions and gave answers that were clearer than it likely was true. The real issues came with Gabriel’s growing distance.

Distance that was both in literal and metaphorical senses. Sometimes Gabriel was far away, sometimes he was two inches from Jack and still was miles away.

Still Jack slept with his door unlocked. Nights when Gabe wasn’t busy or gone, he would hear the door creak open and find himself in an embrace after hearing the rustle of clothes. Most nights Jack would roll over, hug him back and steal kiss after kiss. Some nights it would got farther until they were both out of breath and whispering _I love you_ ’s, a lot of nights they just curled close to breathe in the person that made up their world.

Jack never locked the door for fear of making Gabe think he was upset.

Jack usually never pressed Gabe for answers to his questions like he had that morning neither though. Jack never was scolded so intensely and threatened so harshly by the higher ups either. Blackwatch had never made such an obvious mess before.

But Blackwatch did make a mess, and the higher ups did push, thus making Jack push back in tandem.

Gabe always kept to specific reactions when Jack asked. He could get grim and tell Jack he didn’t want to talk about it. He could chuckle and pull Jack in with a light _that’s classified sir_. He could skip it entirely and ask Jack how he day went.

Every time it happened, something stabbed Jack through the heart. It would feel like his skin was burning under his tags, under his _ring_. Yet, he never pushed back. He didn’t want to lose time with Gabe, not when it was so short. Nor did he want to upset him and waste more time.

He knows Gabe wouldn’t lash out at him, he wasn’t a _monster_. He was a man, a great one. But it didn’t help Jack’s mind from weaving itself into knots of self-doubt and questioning.

It was so easy to accept Gabe had a reason to not share the secrets of Blackwatch with him when Gabe was there in his arms. He trusted Gabe to tell him what was needed, both as a soldier and as a husband.

Yet, Jack had been wondering if Gabe even loved him anymore as more secrets popped up, as more heads were bent together, and more conversations stopped as Jack walked in. It was so easy to explain was a strategist would want to remain in the bed of the lead officer. But it made Jack’s skin crawl.

Jack didn’t get the job until after they were married, and for Gabriel to act in such a manner was entirely out of character. That couldn’t be true of the man that laid beside him, kissing his forehead. The man that rubbed his shoulders and kissed his forehead as he helped him through several panic attacks.

Jack had gotten so good at smiling through it all, at being the symbol needed. But he wasn’t happy. His happiness was momentary and fleeting.

He was happy with Gabe, happy with the idea of what Overwatch was doing. He had two things in the world: Gabe and his job. His friends were tied between both of those things.

And Gabe was pulling away, and his job was being threatened.

His world was in an earthquake of issues, and Jack was crumbling under the weight.

He locked his door.

He would be losing a night of the only thing to make him happy, but he felt like his mind was clearer without Gabe.

_(Easier to hate yourself in the dark of night while alone)_

He could really think about his life without

_(someone to love him unconditionally)_

distraction.

Would Gabriel even notice? Would he even come that night after he pushed so much today?

Could he fall asleep without his

_(warmth, protection, acceptance)_

arms around him?

Jack didn’t even notice himself get up and undo the lock before laying back down. When the door creaked, and the clothes rustled, Jack sat up.

Jack never locked his door. But that night, he almost had.

His smile was too wide, Gabe noticed immediately.

Jack was pulled up into his arms, Jack now kneeling on the tiny bed that he and Gabe shared so many times. He clung to Gabriel.

“Please, tell me. You’re fading.” Jack never pushed, but even the smile was falling through.

 _“I don’t want to ruin you_.” Gabe whispered into his hair, as one hand rubbed Jack’s back, his hand tense as if ready for Jack to rip away.

“This _is_ ruining me.” His voice was cracking, pulling back just so they could meet eye to eye.

They both looked far older than they should be. But the desperation that clung to both seemed to age them more. Another impasse, but both feared losing the other in that moment.

The smile had fallen, but neither could talk about it.

“I’m right here,” Gabe spoke like he was talking to a cornered animal or perhaps a child who didn’t understand why they couldn’t get everything they wanted from a store. Controlled but soft.

“You are.” Jack agreed tiredly, shifting their hold so he can have his forehead to his chest.

“They want answers, and I don’t have any of them.” Jack continued, eyes closed, grasp sharp on Gabe’s hips. Gabe gives the softest apology but doesn’t say anything else.

In the quiet of the room, the protection of the room, Jack moved once more and brought Gabe down in a kiss. Every kiss tasted like the last, a just in case that became so abundant in their world.

Jack laid beside Gabe that night and woke up to an empty bed.

He dressed silently, in front of his mirror he looked at himself.

A small sticky note had Gabe’s handwriting _Good morning, I love you_.

But beside it, he saw lines under his eyes, a furrow to his brow, a twist of his lips. A man of war. A man who wasn’t sure where he was going. But he rubbed his face, brushed his teeth and settled himself.

He looked into the mirror and gave his warmest smile at himself. Weary eyes became laugh worn squints, teeth sparkled, the furrow in his brows cleared and left a wrinkle from concentration rather than negativity. A hero, unstoppable, unshaking.

It was so easy to fake it, to play his part.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter or tumblr: mythicdork. Also I figured out that comments are my life blood, so even if you hate it tell me about it because I get so happy from seeing the comment thing (and I wanna get better at writing!).


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